The Reformed Doctrine of the Zoomies

You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.

Malachi 4:2

I had to look this one up. And lo! I saw that cows get zoomies too. Out they go, leaping from the barn doors into the sun and onto the wondrous springtime grass. If it was Charlotte’s Web, Templeton would serenade them with, “The field is a veritable smorgasbord…”

One day we too shall feel that joy, when our God brings us to the Springtime of the Universe. Then the happier ever after days shall begin. And in meantime, the King said we should get the party started early whenever we suffer for the sake of the Kingdom:

Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven.

Luke 6:23